Sunday, January 22, 2012

What To Do With the Worst Neighbors On Earth

I actually don't know what to do with the worst neighbors on earth. I mean, they seem to live right next to me, and the situation has only deteriorated since last semester.

Let me explain a little more. After Sam and I moved in last August, we quickly learned that-let's call them Dumb and Dumber (but don't confuse them with the endearing JIm Carrey and Jeff Daniels, they're just stupid)-did not share our sleep schedule. As Sam and I made our way to bed, Dumb and Dumber were just getting started. Which is fine. This is college. We understand that we will never live next to people that are completely silent when we want them to be. But, we have a limit. And that limit was not only reached, it was far surpassed.

We have asked them to be quiet probably about 30 times now. We even got the RA involved. Nothing.

So, what could they be doing that keeps us up so long?

Oh, well we hear a myriad number of things coming from that Hell hole. Usually Dumb is preaching about some aspect of life (couples need to spend time in big groups of people because otherwise they would be forced to have sex ALL THE TIME-the most recent example), Dumber is fighting with her boyfriend about how he doesn't pay her enough attention, Dumb or Dumber is having really loud sex with her boyfriend, etc.

Last night was particularly horrible as it involved shrill shrieking from 11 pm to 2 am that included Dumb and Dumber and their multitude of drunk friends. That's all. Just screaming for no apparent reason. It would have continued if I hadn't gone over to ask them to be quiet. When I knocked on the door, I got some extra ridicule as Dumber looked through the key hole and laughed hysterically at my livid face for 2 minutes before finally opening the door.

"Can you be a little quieter please?" I asked. They stared at me with those blank eyes and shut the door in my face. Thanks.

Well, I guess they didn't feel like igniting my wrath-whatever that is-because they left the room for a while (they came back and woke me up, but that had less to do with obnoxious-ness and more to do with the intense hatred that bubbles inside of me every time I see or hear them).

Anyways, as I write this post sleep-deprived from my desk, I think about how I have managed not to go completely insane. Or at least report them again. It probably has to do with the fact that I am really non-confrontational. And, I get to share my anger with Sam (who has a much cooler head than I). Also, for today's remedy I will enjoy the most comforting breakfast around.


There is nothing better. Really, for me, breakfast is best served from a bowl. Granola, cereal, porridge, etc. But oatmeal is the ultimate. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside even when Dumb and Dumber are right next door. So, I will make some oatmeal this morning and leave my fuming for the afternoon and middle of the night.

These pictures are actually from home where I get to make steel-cut oats (which are amazing). They take longer to cook, but it's so worth it. The one pictured is my peanut butter and jelly oatmeal. Not only do you get to feel warm and fuzzy, but you get to feel like a warm and fuzzy child in elementary school. How delightful.

I hope you have lovely neighbors and that you can sleep peacefully. Either way, you can always enjoy this bowl of goodness.

P.S. listening to my new Lion King soundtrack from Christmas is also a very good way to calm the anger :)

Peanut Butter and Jelly Oatmeal


1/4 c steel-cut oats
1/2 c water
1/2 c milk of your choice
1 tbsp honey
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash of salt

1 tbsp peanut butter
2 tsp chia seeds

1 tbsp jam or preserves, melted for drizzling
chopped peanuts


Bring the water and milk to a boil. Reduce to a simmer. Add the oats, honey, cinnamon, and salt and cover.
Stir the mixture every 5 minutes or so, to check the water isn't getting to hot and that the oats aren't sticking to the bottom.

After about 30ish minutes, when the mixture is thick and most of the milk and water mix is gone, add the peanut butter and chia seeds and mix it in thoroughly. When the oatmeal is at a consistency you like, pour it into a bowl and top with the melted jam and chopped peanuts.

Remember, this is oatmeal and you can make it anyway you want. Prefer almond butter? Go for it! Want maple syrup instead of honey? Do it! Make it your own.

Oh, and if you think you added to much liquid and can't seem to get a thick enough consistency, leave the lid off the pot and it will evaporate instead of the oats having to absorb it.



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